remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
