Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
