So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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