Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize