Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
