yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
my being single is dangerous.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Randomize
