How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
