Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
NoShamevember. You game?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a naked man in my car right now.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize