What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
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