He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
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