Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
God I need to hump something, right now.
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