wakey wakey hands off snakey
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
We just shotgunned beers for America
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
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