Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize