Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize