My hand turned me down
if only i could text you this smell
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
