i just wanna soil my oats bro
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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