WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
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