I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
