The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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