Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
