i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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