I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
