bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
