Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
