Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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