This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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