Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I want a musical about memes.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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