TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
