She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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