she woke up with a sticky ear
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
