Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Randomize
