We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I will pee on everything he values.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
