Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
