so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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