Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
