it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
