sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
