Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
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