I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
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