No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
