New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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