goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
