Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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