the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Sober January is a disaster.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Randomize
