Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
