You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Randomize
