He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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