I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
