the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Randomize
