I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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