marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize