i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
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