I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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