So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
hell yes lets make some ravioli
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
