How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Randomize
