When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
