Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I'm both gender and math confused
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
