thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
