Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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