Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
