Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I'm sobbing to NWA
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
