I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
