I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
two words...techno handjob
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Randomize
