I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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